It Might Change My Memory
by mysticvysgiyi
Summary: We know that the 'Royal Four' lived a life before, but who's to say that they hadn't lived several others? Mostly Dreamer, but all CC are included (AU). Takes place approximately at EOTW.
1. As A Catholic

Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell. The Song at the end of fic is Dido's I don't know the name of it at the top of my head, but it was the theme song for the show. That too, isn't mine either.

CHAPTER ONE: As A Catholic

There once was a girl who lived in a normal life, and did normal things, but she was anything but normal. She was the Queen of an entire world. She could see the future, she could change the way things looked, she could do anything, be anyone. She had powers and with them she could own the world. Not that she wanted to. She was more convinced that her powers should be kept a secret, and that if anyone were to ever find out she would surely be condemned.

The Church was a powerful thing. They were powerful enemies and ones that were quick to condemn. She didn't want to be condemned; she didn't want to be sent into the hereafter with an enemy like the church. So, she had only one choice. She had to keep it a secret, and so far it had worked. She hadn't told anyone about anything, and so, she was condemned to live her life alone. She was meant to become a widow. How was she supposed to have a family? How was she supposed to be a wife? Would she able to do all of the things that wives......did.... with their husbands? She would simply have to live out her entire life without anyone. Once she was respectively old enough to get a home of her own, she would, and become a sinister old bitty with six cats.

Her life was obviously filled with only one goal. To live out her life in what appeared to be piety and die by herself, but things became complicated when a certain young man obviously hadn't shared in her enthusiasm in keeping his secret.

His hands had been glowing. He was in the corner and he was doing something with his hands. He was partially in her view. She was astounded. He shared her secret, but was obviously not afraid to show it. They were in the middle of the church, with the clergy only in the other room. To be fair, she did have to say that she had been sitting in the confession both and was waiting for the priest to come back in. She could hear the drunken clergy's footsteps coming closer. He was absorbed in what he was doing, and he wouldn't realize that the clergy would see him. She had to help. It was so uncharacteristically unlike her. It was so uncharacteristically unlike Lisbeth Parkson, but perhaps it was the circumstances, perhaps it was fact that she felt in some way she could relate, of perhaps I was the voice inside of her nagging that she had to be closer to the boy in the corner, if not help him avoid open condemnation. She quickly, but quietly scurried out of the confession box. Before he knew it, she was dragging the boy from the corner out of the stone church and as far away from prying eyes as possible.

& & & &

He found himself breathing heavily around the corner in a deserted grove, still clutching the hand of a perfect stranger. She was looking about wildly and looked like she was expecting someone to come chasing them at any moment. Than it struck him. She had seen. She had seen what he had been doing in the corner. Than why would she have dragged him out of the church like that? If she had really seen what he had been doing than she surely would've reported him. Where had she come from anyway? There hadn't been anyone in the church. He had made sure that no was there when he had started. Where had she come from? Oh god, the Church, what were they going to say, better yet what was she going to do? Oh, well, having to hide like this was stupid anyway. Let the church condemn him, see if he cared.

& & & &

She was looking at him. Her eyes were dark, and mysterious.

He was clutching her hand more tightly than anyone ever had. She remembered his warm fingers encircling her own. He was holding her for dear life, and there was nothing more that mattered than that.

& & & &

They were somewhere and she remembered the feelings that were generating from him, more than anything else. He loved her, and she felt that coming off of him in waves. It never seemed to end, but she also felt fear, and a great sadness, for her.

_He was mourning the end of her life, and the beauty he saw in it._

She was crying.

He didn't know.

He didn't know that there was no point to life without him.

He didn't know that he was her life.

& & & &

He did know that she was doing this for him.

He did know that she would do anything for him.

& & & &

He didn't know that she was like him.

He didn't know that even without him she would've been involved.

He didn't know that they shared the same secret.

He was always so open to her. He let her see anything about himself, and never asked for anything in return, than again, he hadn't known that there was something she could've shared with him. And just like that she let her guard down and the flashes began.

& & & &

He saw her life.

He saw her discovering her powers.

He saw her first putting on the gloves.

He saw her before the gloves. She was wild and carefree. She hadn't a worry in the world. She was like him. She was who she was and there was nothing that was going to change it for the world.

But her father was sent into the river. She was suspected of witchcraft, and instead of her being sent to the river, her father took her place leaving her all alone. They accepted, that when her father drowned he had been telling her the truth. She went to church everyday and prayed.

She wore the gloves her mother had made her wear before she died. Her mother was bitter when her beloved husband died to save the life of their child. They always could've had another child. There was no having another him.

He saw how much she loved him. He saw that she had been scared. He saw that she had been so disbelieving that he had used his powers in public.

She was ashamed that she had given up on life and love, when her father'sown words had encouraged her to always follow her heart and live life to the fullest. To love. She had screamed, and had been locked in her room. She wouldn't leave her room for days and wouldn't eat or drink anything.

He saw how she saw him; all grace, beauty, and wonder.

He saw her, and he let her see him too.

& & & &

They bonded then, more intimately than anyone had ever bonded before. They didn't know who or what they were. They were decisively different, but they had each other.

They were in it together, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

& & & &

_I didn't hear you leave._

_I wonder how am I still here. _

_And I don't want to move a thing._

_It might change my memory._

It suddenly hit Liz as she heard her favorite song playing on Dido's new CD. It was a memory, or perhaps something that had happened in a dream. She quickly went to her hiding spot and dug out her journal and was about to write it's first entry, when her father called her down to start the first shift of the year In the Crashdown Café her family owned. Quickly, all thoughts of the 'dream' left her as she straightened her alien antennae and hustled down the steps.

"Coming!" she called out.

& & & &

FB??


	2. Don't Be There

AN:I know that it's been a long, long, long while since I last updated, but I'm back now, and I've got some new material, and I want to edit some previous works. I hope there are some of you out there that will want to continue reading what I've written, and I hope there are some new face who will also be interested.

DISCLAIMER: I Don't own Roswell, or "Don't Be There" by Switchfoot (Legend of Chin) I wish I did…

BTW: This is in Max's perspective, and takes place somewhere close to EOTW.

_Don't be there  
Don't be there_

_'cause I'm on my way_

My wedding dance, I'm giving her my wedding dance…a dance I pray she never has.

_And I'm already gone_

_over_

_And I'm on my way hey_

I can feel the change. The change in our past.

_And I can't recall myself  
How I went down_

I'm dying now. My breath is coming in short quick gasps, and the question of death is answered. I know death now. He's standing at the door, waiting…waiting for an old alien heart to finally stop beating. But it won't. My heart will beat forever, because of _her_.

It doesn't matter now that I'm dying. It doesn't matter that the world could be destroyed at any moment because of the life we had chosen together. Her heart beats now. It will beat for years now. It will beat because I have given her something. I gave her another chance. Another chance. Another chance I will never see…another chance I will never know…another chance for that precious heart to beat.

_Did I get shot  
Or shoot myself_

My first glimpse of Liz Parker, when stepping off the bus for my first day of school in third grade, I saw into her soul. It was in that glimpse; that moment recognition, that I knew I loved her. When we sat next to each other in Mr. Radish's fifth grade class, I knew her mind. But it was that moment. The single moment when I saw her fall to the floor and crumble in a heap, I knew. It was over.

But it was when I healed her, and I knew her soul, that I didn't care.

_I'm down here_

_I'm down here  
And you're way up there_

There was never a question of weather or not I was going to heal Liz. I couldn't let her die. I wouldn't let her die. Never. Even now, after so many words, so many arguments, so many insecurities, misinterpretations, after destiny…it's never been a question, Liz and I. It's always been her. It will always be her.

_But that doesn't hurt badly  
But it stings right here hey_

I have to now. I have to remember. Because it hurts. It hurts so badly. Not just on the outside, but inside too. I need to remember, because it was worth it. Every moment of Liz is worth it. Was worth it.

_I can't recall my self_

_How I went down_

_Did I get shot_

_Or shoot myself_

It's what brought me here. Liz. She could take me anywhere. I was up late when I thought about it. I'm here now because of that idea, because of the thought that maybe I could change things. Even for a little while. So maybe I could have a little more time with her, a few years, a few hours, another second. All stolen seconds, moments in time I'm too weak to stay away from. But it's Liz, there was never a choice to do anything else.

But when I think back to the beginning. The day I healed her, I think that maybe that that's where it all started, and where it all ended.

_And I won't pretend there's  
Nothing there  
You be around and I'll be square  
Don't be alarmed if I'm not there  
You be around and I'll be square_

She was my everything. I loved her, I love her more than I could ever explain, even to Michael and Isabel. And the miraculous part about it all, was that it wasn't one sided. She loved me. But I gave her something. Something she didn't have last time, something she can hold onto. Something that might save us.

_If you're a rose  
Then I'm the thorn  
That's in your side_

I was such an idiot, such a coward. But I was young and I didn't know. I had noble ideas about protecting your loved ones. Ideas that maybe if I stayed away, it would somehow hurt less. That maybe I could stave away the pain. Moments, stolen moments…

_And does it hurt badly  
'Cause it burns right here hey_

But it did hurt. Hurt so bad and I loved her so much…

_I can't recall myself_

_How I went down_

_Did I get Shot_

_Or shoot myself_

So, I'm lying here, and I'm remembering, every moment, every thought, every touch, because it was her.

_I'd like to say hello  
I'd like to say_

_I care  
I'd like to let you know_

"I love you…"

_That nothing here's the same with me  
Nothing here's the same_

_I can't recall myself how I went down_

_Did I get shot_

_Or shoot myself_

"…Liz Parker…"

_And I won't pretend there's  
Nothing there  
You be around and I'll be square  
Don't be alarmed if I'm not there  
You be around and I'll be square_

And that's how it will end. How I will end. Remembering Liz Parker.

_Don't be around  
Don't be there_

AN:I know this was short, but bear with me. If you guess liked what you read, and if you want some more I'm more than willing to update, respond, and finish this. FB? Please?


End file.
